Picture this.

I like taking pictures just as much as the average person. Just because I have camera and *know how to use it doesn't make me a photographer but I tend to believe what does make us one is the way in which we capture the moment. I have a Samsung Coolpix my dad purchased for me last year for my birthday and I still haven't figured out all the functions so I don't consider myself a pro by any means.

The types of pictures I deeply enjoy taking are not your average "smile" and click - it's done. Nope. Most of what I enjoy is taking pictures while driving and I think I've managed the art of being really still and knowing exactly what conditions are suitable for so. Also, it helps to have your window down or at least clean, yes I've learned this from experience.

I mostly enjoy taking pictures of bridges and sky's.

A few examples are found below.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this bridge picture...

it reminds me of California and this wicked re-occurring dream I had when I was younger.

Knowing there was not enough time to even turn my body around in the back seat of the car to get this shot I held my camera up to the side of my head and without looking took what I believe to be an awesome picture.



Mountains in Virginia and an old rusted, faded green iron bridge.

I was at a stop light and couldn't help but capture this

storm a brewing with bits of sun light peeking through.

OK so this one doesn't quite fit the mold but I did take it from my car and it does have a sky in it and a railing that could be considered a bridge, right? Maybe not... but in any case I like the picture for some reason and so included it must be.

Moral of this story.

Even if you don't know the right way to do something,

don't worry, don't hesitate

it doesn't mean you're not doing it right.

All Cops are NOT created equal

Every girl dreams of finding the “one” but nobody really knows how it’s going to happen. Well guess what it's your lucky day! Ya know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna tell you how it’s NOT going to happen, well for me at least but hopefully I'm not alone here, some of these are pretty ridunkulous. By the way, not all of these are speaking from experience, actually let me take that back, most of them are - but not all.

OH and if you’re a guy reading this please, please, please take this shit to the bank, it will only do you good.

Now if you don't mind I'll begin.

ahem.

You will not find yourself being the “one” or even remotely close to being the “one” if……

1)you aks me fo’ my numba

2)you do certain things in public on a regular basis that should be reserved for private – like scratching or picking something

3)you can’t handle the fact that I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t NEED someone in my life rather I WOULD LIKE someone to share life with.

4)you order a drink for yourself and not me, even though I’m standing beside of you and you know what I want to drink

5)you think that just because I got my own house and my own car – you are entitled to live with your mother until you move in with me

6)you call me everyday and want to hang out with me all the time but you just want to be friends for now

7)you completely bomb meeting the parents (I’m not talking just fudging up a sentence or completely blanking when they ask you of your intentions with me, I’m talking like getting completely blitzed and cussing out my little brother type of bomb)

8)you constantly change your mind about everything. I mean Jesus! There should be some things in your life you can hold on to for more than a day.

9)you bail out on me more than once, more than twice, more than three times for something that means a whole bunch to me.

10)you think out loud waaaaay tooooo much – yep, you know where I’m going with this one

11)you hit on any of my friends in a creepy way – friends, you know what I’m talking about, there’s playing around and then there is taking it a little too far and if you can’t tell the difference well that’s just too damn bad…next.

12)(due to recent events) you leave me at a bar in a city I’m unfamiliar with and you’re my ride

OH NO! I almost forgot. For anyone reading that doesn't know the story it wouldn't hurt to have a little background info. So I recently became friends with a cop. We started hanging out a bunch, then something, I still don't know what - changed. All of the even numbered no no’s starting with #4 (#’s 4,6,8,10 & 12 - for those on the slow boat today) are some of the reasons 'All Cops are NOT created equal'. I'll let you formulate the missing parts. It's not rocket science.

Man, I needed that. Thanks for letting me vent here.

I do! Butterflies and all.

Originally I had a side-kick who was coming along for the wedding weekend bliss but since that didn’t work out so well, I was left with two choices - Go by myself or not go at all - well actually I didn’t have a choice and I’m damn glad - Never would I ever have imagined my responsibility in my friend Kelly’s wedding to be – are you ready for this? – The Butterfly Handler. Yep that’s right; of all people she could have picked I was the one she chose to be responsible for these precious little four-winged creatures. I was honored in a way but I also felt slightly hesitant in the beginning to take on such a unfamiliar assignment because I had so many questions and the bride-to-be was so busy with all the wedding planning it was hard to get butterfly details from her (I think part of it was that Kelly didn’t really know much about the little beings either) BUT as you all should gather, I, being the newly carefree broad that I am was ready for the challenge and so I awaited the details, which never really came and so onward I went. With little to go on, and being the only one ready, willing and able to take care of the butterflies I headed to the farm (which by the way I was slightly skeptical even about where this place was considering when I MapQuested it there was no “exact” match) but in any case unknowingly I set out.

After pulling into the wrong driveway I was quickly redirected by the guy at the storage place to take an immediate right out of his driveway onto the dirt road. I can see how I missed it, the dirt road was fully lined with tall magnificent Leyland Cyprus and there was a small white sign that said “farm” with a red arrow on it – yep that’s it, and you wonder there was no match on MapQuest?


As I’m driving along the approximate 2 mile stretch of dirt road and dirt dips at oooh about 5 miles an hour in my 2-door sports coupe I couldn’t help but wonder what I was about to pull up to and what my duties would entail once I had the butterflies in hand. While the road was pretty rugged the view was beautiful and the weather was healing up nicely after a short hard rain and I was starting to get excited about this butterfly handling gig. So I pull into a large field that reads “Parking here” and I park and at this point I’m starting to gather that details and butterflies obviously don’t go together. So I stood in the field for a little bit then headed towards what looked like a greenhouse, took some pictures, waited for someone to appear, walked a little further over a wooden plank to a nice-sized house (didn’t look like a butterfly pick-up spot to me) and well, I knocked on the door. Much to my dismay I was at the right place indeed and was greeted by a young woman whom without even questioning who I was or what I was there for she proceeded to give me butterfly handling directions. The butterflies were packed in a cooler on ice, could stay there for 48 hours and were to be taken out and hour and fifteen minutes before the wedding to sit at room temperature and wake up, as she put it. Then they would be let off, the Monarchs individually and the Painted Lady’s as a mass. So she handed me the tightly sealed cooler along with an instruction sheet and sent me on my way. So as things became clearer to me...or not really any clearer at all...I sloshed back across the field and over to my car.


I set off for Asheville and I made sure I guarded the butterflies with my life; after all they were a pretty important part of the wedding. I kept them in a cool dark place over night and just like the lady instructed and hour before the wedding I took all of the butterflies out of the cooler and set them out at room temperature. Two nieces of the groom were to help let off the butterflies and I managed to snag them beforehand to let them see the butterflies and hold the little packages in their tiny hands. I told the little girls – Staley Rose & Isabelle, the little bit I knew about the butterflies and I wanted to make sure they were comfortable with what they were doing and continued by letting them know if they opened up one of the envelopes and the butterfly did not fly off, not to worry, it wasn’t ready to fly just yet, but that eventually it would…and the girls looked at me with depth and took my words. I even managed to get a basket to place the butterflies in then took the butterflies and placed them by the small table and awning where the “I do’s” would take place. Who knew there was so much that goes into this???

The mountain top wedding was absolutely beautiful. We sat there in awe overtop the landscape that Asheville offers in the springtime after an afternoon rain while Kelly & Scott exchanged vows. The butterflies were amazing and went off without a hitch.


The day after the wedding we all gathered at neighbors of the bride & groom to watch a slideshow/video of the wedding and drink margaritas. While watching the video Kelly noticed that after the wedding was over and the camera was still rolling that I went over to the table, gathered up the butterfly garb and made sure the remaining few butterflies who hadn’t yet taken off did. She looked over at me slightly teary eyed and said “Wow Ashley, when I asked you to be the butterfly handler you really took that to heart, you handled those things from the very beginning to the very end, thank you.” – And those words made the experience worth every bit.

It’s nice to be noticed. I’ve always tried to be the type of person that if I say I’m going to do something, I do it and when I do it I try my hardest to do my best at it.Even though the details were lacking I think it made the experience all the better. I took something that was just a task and turned it into something that ended up meaning a lot to me and hopefully meaning the same to many others.

Every bit of this wedding was truly sensational, but in the end it was the butterflies that carried me along. They made me realize I am a good person and not because of what I do or how I do it but just because with each day I live I strive to be a better person and that's all that really matters.


So thank you Kelly for letting me be a part of your dream come true and thank you butterflies for just being you.

Me..the Constant Gardener?

Never would I ever have imagined that I would purchase a house at 23 - let alone refinance the dang thing before turning 26! But I’m doing it, right now, real time. The “refi” process is truly a learning experience but I’m hoping the 1.5% interest reduction in itself will prove to be a wise choice for the future. It seems like every time I delve into something new like this I end up with a new hobby or pick up an unusual habit along the way. Thankfully, they’re good habits, which are the #1 reason my psychologist gave me for being “ok” now and able to live in the “real” world – and thank God for reassurance!So during the process I have managed to turn into a dedicated planter of all things green and blooming, a landscapist if you will. I’ve practically thrown myself into working on my back patio with the promise of an appraisal high enough to warrant my refinance. And so the madness has just begun, I tore up bricks and replaced them with cobblestone; I pulled out a humongous hydrangea and replaced it with a feeble purple perennial with high hopes of bearing lots of buds for years to come, I laid the bricks I pulled up to form a walkway around the backside of my house, replanted the hydrangea alongside the garbage cans to muffle water erosion and create more oxygen for the trash that it lay beside, and guess what? - That’s not all folks! I now have a little area in my patio dedicated to a potted herb garden which is sure to grow in size and variety. I also refinished a wrought iron patio table I paid a whopping $10 bucks for, which hosts a couple other potted plants including my bonsai tree, Clowie. Next on the list, I’m going to add a few garden yummies. I definitely want to have tomatoes and I’ve had a couple suggestions for squash & green peppers but I need to do some research first on types of veggies and what living conditions they’re most suitable in. More suggestions and/or gardening tips are surely welcome. Last but not least, it’s actually the order it must come in – I’m staining the concrete slabs on the patio. Now that all the dirty work is done it’s time to lay the finishing touch. This will by far the biggest feat but it will also be well worth it. Do you know how good it feels to put this much work into something and in the end find that you have a new pleasure in life that doesn’t involve drinking vodka red bulls all night long in hopes of blacking out? I am super stoked about tearing off fresh leaves to add to my dinner delights, not hooking up with the hottie in the corner of the bar. This makes me feel grown up. This makes me feel happy. And so happy I will be, cause’ some habits are worth keeping.

Relapse. Part Dos

So...First let me say the holidays crept up on me this year and therefore took up most of my blogging time…aaahegm… in the later part of November and all of December. Now we can skip on over to January, right? Right.

Ooooh wait, hold on. Hold on. Let me back up to December 31st for all you crazy at heart, this is where the fun starts anyways.
Me and my bestie (of like, gaawd what is it now? Going on 14 years? Insane.) decided to do our Christmas gift exchange the night of New Years Eve since our holiday schedules don’t seem to allow for much togetherness time anymore. After careful thought and deliberation we decided to start our evening off at Firebirds, a relatively new to the area semi-swank yet somewhat relaxed wood fired restaurant. Even though the wait was an unruly 2 1/2 hours with call-ahead seating, the generous $4 Pineapple Martinis we sucked down over that period of time led us both to believe we had made a great choice.

After we'd made multiple bar friends and were now "pineapple infused", our name was called. We piled up our bags, boxes, purses and coats and of course, our martinis and succeeded the hostess to our table. In route to our table we couldn’t help but notice two civil looking men at the hostess stand whom subsequently were just told that their wait was going to be well over an hour, as the guys huffed and puffed and were about to turn around and leave (I mean all they wanted was a good steak) Michaela and I had our infamous telepathic connection and seconds later she mettled her way over to the guys to see if they’d like to join us for dinner. To our surprise they accepted; this was going to be interesting. Not gonna lie to you though, most of our times together seem to be pretty memorable, perhaps that’s why we’ve stayed friends for so long.

Besides being one of the most random things we’ve ever done it was like we had known these guys since grade school and it seemed completely normal. Why can’t a blind date ever go this damn good? I mean C’mon.

We nibbled on appetizers, sipped on – yes, pineapple martinis and had mild conversations with a police officer and an audio tech guy (forgive me for their names have escaped my mind) for nearly two hours. The guys watched us open up our gifts and oooohed and aahhhed at the presents we had for each other, suggesting we had to have “known” each other for a long time judging from the satisfaction we both shared with our new-found goodies.

As the alcohol took over a good part of our blood stream, the food disappeared from our plates and the time was steadily creeping towards midnight we decided it would be best to wrap up the party and take it elsewhere – to my merriment the guys paid for the appetizers and drinks and thanked us once again for our company and letting them sit with us. We informed them of where we were headed and offered them to join us but instead we exited the restaurant and parted ways. They didn’t ask us for our numbers and they didn’t show up at the place we went next. Two hours of entertaining conversations with complete strangers, that was it. I spent a couple moments in a lackadaisical afterthought before I realized it was what it was and that was the beauty of it.

Lesson learned. Good things don’t always happen when they’re planned out. Sometimes it’s the excitement and thrill of the unknown that will bring out a part of us or someone else for that matter only to introduce new experiences and new memories to our lives. Experiences that stick with you like bean and bacon soup – or like a best friend. It was at this moment I made my New Years resolution to be a little more carefree in 2009. Not irresponsible – just more relaxed, easy-going and not so predictable.

I believe this was a gratifying introduction to a new me in ‘09. Whatchou think about that?

Ok, so...I went into a Relapse

So…this thing we call life definitely has ways of carrying us where we need to be or are "supposed" to be. In the infinite days since I last wrote I was working on regaining myself after a break-up, exploring new things, meeting new people, etc. etc. etc. - well mind you the absence from the blog, I've been having a hell of a time out here! - with this said, for a mere 3 1/2 or so months I've put blogging on the back burner in hopes of finding something else to keep my mind off the silly little things.

And that’s just what happened.

So…just what have I been up to since Monday, November 3rd 2008?
Well everyone knows how much “fun” my list are so for all of you peeps out there following my blog, which to this day amounts to a big fat “zero” – (don’t worry I don't blame you, I know I'm not a dependable blogger) – but I assure you I will let you know what I’ve been up to in my next blog.

I just wanted to write today to let you know I’m still alive and kicking. K?

all good things must come to and end. bad things too.

In an attempt to get over my ex-boyfriend and the life I thought we would share together I have been hitting the single scene quite often these days. By now many of you reading my blog might have perceived me as "really" writing this blog as part of "therapy" but in actuality I've been trying to take my mind off of the later. Blogging has a lot of qualities of and can definitely be considered "therapy".
And so... blog I will.

So I have been spending a good amount of time going out with other single ladies in the Triad venturing around with the possibility I might find someone who can fulfill this void I've been left with. So far it seems to only move me closer to feeling like this is going to be harder than I originally thought. People seem to have taken on this weird unsociable persona that I feel can be credited to online social networks and fantasy worlds that have enabled people to feel like they don't have to really try anymore in the "real world" (hell we've got Facebook so we can live vicariously through others and now we don't have to face the fact that we're miserable, right?)

So I took the challenge and went a step further.

I took the plunge, the one I never thought I'd be so desperate to make and joined the 'oh so hip' match.com. Well desperado's beware, most everybody stays for the free 3 or 7 day trial and then trucks it, leaving those who actually decide to stay longer winking and emailing people who have long fled the virtual world for something more substantial. And another one bites the dust. I'm NOT renewing my account for another month at $35.00 BUT the good thing is I did make my money back with dinner and drinks paid for by someone I'll never talk to or see again.

See... I can see the good in every situation.

So yet again, I'm left thinking.

I've come to the conclusion that person-to-person is hard for me and online is just not for me. So what does this mean? Well for me it means I'm going to have to try a lot damn harder to make this person-to-person think work. I'm going to have to learn that social rejection is hard to swallow but it does indeed make you stronger and less likely to stumble upon the wrong people or situations in the future, and if you waltz into it again you may be able to handle it better.

I have already started trying to step outside this box I live in and involve myself less in the oh so desirable bar scene where take homes are as easy to come across and actually start involving myself in activities and scenes where different people wander. Maybe, just maybe this will work.

Moral of the story. Don't give up. We can never decide that just because something didn't work out the first time it won't the next and there are always alternatives. There is a plan for each and every one of us and things don't seem to EVER work out like we thought, planned or wanted.

The real challenge and the things we have to take out of any/every situation is:

1) We learned something.
2) We are better prepared for next time.
3) Hell, we might even see next time coming.
4) Forget that, we might even avoid next time cause it truly sucked balls the first time around and we ain't going there again.
5) To try different things which might end in different results.
6) To know that things happen for a reason, we may just not know why yet.


Happy Hunting to all those on the prowl!