All Cops are NOT created equal

Every girl dreams of finding the “one” but nobody really knows how it’s going to happen. Well guess what it's your lucky day! Ya know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna tell you how it’s NOT going to happen, well for me at least but hopefully I'm not alone here, some of these are pretty ridunkulous. By the way, not all of these are speaking from experience, actually let me take that back, most of them are - but not all.

OH and if you’re a guy reading this please, please, please take this shit to the bank, it will only do you good.

Now if you don't mind I'll begin.

ahem.

You will not find yourself being the “one” or even remotely close to being the “one” if……

1)you aks me fo’ my numba

2)you do certain things in public on a regular basis that should be reserved for private – like scratching or picking something

3)you can’t handle the fact that I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t NEED someone in my life rather I WOULD LIKE someone to share life with.

4)you order a drink for yourself and not me, even though I’m standing beside of you and you know what I want to drink

5)you think that just because I got my own house and my own car – you are entitled to live with your mother until you move in with me

6)you call me everyday and want to hang out with me all the time but you just want to be friends for now

7)you completely bomb meeting the parents (I’m not talking just fudging up a sentence or completely blanking when they ask you of your intentions with me, I’m talking like getting completely blitzed and cussing out my little brother type of bomb)

8)you constantly change your mind about everything. I mean Jesus! There should be some things in your life you can hold on to for more than a day.

9)you bail out on me more than once, more than twice, more than three times for something that means a whole bunch to me.

10)you think out loud waaaaay tooooo much – yep, you know where I’m going with this one

11)you hit on any of my friends in a creepy way – friends, you know what I’m talking about, there’s playing around and then there is taking it a little too far and if you can’t tell the difference well that’s just too damn bad…next.

12)(due to recent events) you leave me at a bar in a city I’m unfamiliar with and you’re my ride

OH NO! I almost forgot. For anyone reading that doesn't know the story it wouldn't hurt to have a little background info. So I recently became friends with a cop. We started hanging out a bunch, then something, I still don't know what - changed. All of the even numbered no no’s starting with #4 (#’s 4,6,8,10 & 12 - for those on the slow boat today) are some of the reasons 'All Cops are NOT created equal'. I'll let you formulate the missing parts. It's not rocket science.

Man, I needed that. Thanks for letting me vent here.