So I took a lil hiatus... okay, a long one. My last post celebrated my decision to follow my dreams and pursue my MBA in Design Strategy. I left unaware and unknowing but high on hope and energy. Living and attending school in San Francisco was undoubtedly one of the bravest things I've ever done. The experience will forever remain one filled with amazing people, culture and learning's that I will never forget and no one can ever take away from me.
In our lives we often don't see things for what they are though, until we have some time to reflect. In the moment our perspectives are focused more intensely on what were doing and why were doing it, how it's going to affect us...etc. six months post-graduation, after having time to truly access and encapsulate two years of struggle, persistence, hard-work, in-depth research and iteration after iteration I now understand why I worked so hard in my twenties to create a strong foundation for myself.
I started working at 14 so I could buy my first car. I worked all throughout high school and my undergraduate career. I was often upset that my family couldn't afford to pay for everything, that I had to do stuff myself. Jealous of friends that had it easy and had things handed to them I worked even harder to make sure no one would see the difference between the two. I made sure I had everything I wanted. A good job, a career in my field, a house that I owned... savings. I worked my ass off. Not seeing then what I see now.
I thought many times that I was failing myself because I wasn't experiencing all that I should. I worked too much. I was being too predictable. I wasn't traveling enough. I wasn't being as careless and easy-going as the others. Not seeing that in my thirties I would need to fall back on all that I worked for in my twenties so I could pursue dreams that became clear to me in the most magical place I've ever lived.
I have my moments... many, many moments of wondering why I'm still jobless six months after securing a masters degree. Moments where I'm fearful I'll lose my house, my car, my path..all that I've worked for. I'm sad that once again I'm not able to travel as much as I'd like, do as much as I want or that things are a bit ambiguous once again. I know there is a reason and that reason keeps me strong, it keeps me sane and it keeps life worth living.
Life has it's ups and downs, there's no getting around it. For me, the best way I get through those down times is to see them as times to reflect and dissect. Times to get back to the root of my existence - my purpose. It's a time to see what I can and cannot do without. To remember those most exciting times to see where and when I was happiest... it's the time we hate while it's here but embrace it when it's gone and realize how much we really learned.
